Feb 28, 2017

Funny Things Our Kids Have Said. . . (from the archives)

These quotations originally ran as part of a Q and LA session here

. . . as recorded by several SDMW authors

Allison Kieselowsky

My 7-year-old reciting the catechism lesson for the week: "I believe that when the called ministers of Christ deal with us by His divine command . . . and dissolve those who repent of their sins . . ."

At times like these, we thank God that our children's words are not binding in heaven.

Mommy: What face do you want on the pumpkin?

7-year-old: A grumpy face.

3-year-old: A silly face.

5-year-old: Born to a wicked witch, this beautiful princess can become evil when she gets angry. She has royally shaped eyes, a beautiful mouth, and a nice nose. But she looks like she can turn evil when someone upsets her.

And she had absolute confidence that Mommy could actually carve that face into a pumpkin.

Rachel Kovaciny

My almost-three-year-old doesn't quite understand Hide & Seek yet.  Last week, she insisted on carrying a xylophone with her wherever she hid.  We tried to explain why this was not optimal, but she was unconvinced.

I went momentarily insane recently and bought my children big foam broadswords.  Then I showed them select sword-fighting scenes from some of my favorite swashbuckling movies, including The Princess Bride. The other day, while fighting her daddy, my four-year-old daughter announced, "I know something you don't know!  I am not left-handed!"  She paused, then added, "Which one is my left hand?"

Aubri Hale

God has blessed me with some pretty funny kiddos. He knew I needed that! I truly feel like I'm living in a Family Circus cartoon sometimes.

For instance, my daughter singing Baa Baa Black Sheep used to end it with, “And one for the little boy who lives down the drain.”

While I sat reading to my big girls, Clara snuggled close and said, “Mama, your skin feels like pizza dough.”

I told Clara that my laptop died. She then asked, “On the cross?”

Later that day one of the toy batteries died (finally). I told the girls the batteries had died and Lily excitedly declared, “Then they will go to heaven!”

The girls were learning a VBS song called "Christ on Calvary." Lily kept singing it as “Go and tell the story of the Christ on calorie.”

When Lily was still learning how to say words like, “magnet,” it always came out as “maggot.” I loved hearing things like this: “Mom, Gerhardt’s got a maggot in his mouth!” and “There are maggots under the Christmas tree!”

My Clara can be a bit dramatic. One afternoon she flopped down on the floor crying, “I’m tired of saying WORDS!”

While doing plank jacks with me (a very unpleasant exercise move) Clara yelled: “Are these poison!!???” I told her yes.

One day I told the girls that if they worked hard in school their Daddy and I would give them money to go to college, to which Clara responded with a worried look on her face, “But what if I drop it all on the street?”

Cheryl Magness

In church a few years back, I overheard a friend's child saying: "Thanks, Pizza God!" (instead of Thanks be to God).

Some years ago I also realized my youngest was incorrectly praying Luther's Evening Prayer thus: "Let your holy angel be with me, that the evil foam may have no power over me."

You gotta watch out for The Foam.

1 comment:

  1. I'm not sure if I missed these the first time around or if I've just forgotten them with my mommy-brain, but it was a fun way to start the day. Thanks.


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