By
Rebekah Theilen
Something
painfully beautiful happened the day of my wedding.
My
father gave me away. In an outdoor chapel to the sound of “Come Thou Fount of
Every Blessing,” I cried all the way down the hill, the grassy aisle, holding
tightly to his arm through the final processional moment. When we reached the
altar, his arm loosened, we hugged, kissed each other’s cheeks, and then he let
me go. He released me—his firstborn child and oldest daughter--into the care of
another man.
I
had all the high hopes of a young bride in love. Yet walking away from
the aisle and into married life came with far more tears and hardship than I
imagined (how many times in life will we say that?). There was an aspect of
leaving and cleaving--a kind of grief--I couldn’t anticipate. After the lights had gone out on
our wedding night and my new husband was fast asleep, I cried again.
I
missed my dad.
For
the longest time there was a split allegiance in my heart. Two decades of
living under the love and care of one man do not disappear with the stroke of a
pen or the exchange of rings. I knew my husband was the most important man in
my life. I wanted to make a home with him. But at the same time, I longed to
return home to the house of my father, to the place of the familiar.
My
dad was my image of the ideal man. Not because he was perfect, but because he
was all I ever knew. The “ideal” man, whoever he is, is a standard no husband
can ever hope to live up to. In those early years of marriage everything my
husband did or did not do was held up to the light of my father’s example. I
wanted him to do and say things the way Dad always did. I wanted my husband to
be someone other than who God made him to be.
As
a wife, this was my first lesson in submission: I needed to yield to the
learning curve of living under the care of a new and different man. A woman’s
heart cannot serve two masters--a wife’s devotion is meant for one man, her
husband. She seeks not her old ways, but is patient and kind, as her husband
learns and leads the way in a new and better love. In this way the husband and
wife are able to grow into and grow old together in their God-given roles.
May we find joy in our marriage as we submit to our Lord who grows love over
decades.
***

No comments:
Post a Comment
Please note: Comments are moderated and will appear on the blog once we've had a chance to approve them.
Thanks for joining the conversation!