tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9196316261585940971.post4049718057739328052..comments2023-07-06T06:04:07.849-07:00Comments on Sister, Daughter, Mother, Wife: Getting Kids to Behave in Church (from our Archives)Anna Mussmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631139113615066986noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9196316261585940971.post-18238983671437982992016-10-08T20:49:53.084-07:002016-10-08T20:49:53.084-07:00Hi, Mary! Thanks for your honesty in sharing your ...Hi, Mary! Thanks for your honesty in sharing your situation. Ironically, my own situation has changed since I wrote this article two years ago. My husband is a pastor and thus I am single-momming it in the pews with our kids- now five of them, rather than the four I had when I wrote this. Nor are we near my family anymore, so I understand a bit of your frustrations about feeling alone in church. The ages of your children are particularly difficult for managing in church, especially when you're on your own. When my oldest two were about that old, I remember coming home in tears a few times, convinced that it would be better for me to skip church and break the 3rd commandment rather than spend the entire service angry with my children and breaking the 5th commandment against them in my mind! As Anna suggests, I think it's a good idea to directly ask someone for help in church. Many people truly are willing to do so, but fear they'll overstep their bounds if they offer without being asked. I have a few members I feel comfortable enough asking if we can sit with them so if I have to take my 19-month-old out, the rest of my kids can stay in church under supervision. Perhaps there is even a high schooler who would be willing to sit with you and hold one of your children in their lap. Young children often look up to older kids and may mimic their behavior in church. We have a senior boy in our congregation who plays football. My four-year-old adores him. I sometimes sit in front of his family so if she acts up I can whisper, "See how nicely Nathanael is listening? I bet you could listen that well, too." And it works! Not every time, mind you, but she does tend to shape up when she thinks he might be watching her. Honestly, I've also found that sometimes my kids behave better for others than for me in church. Perhaps you could ask an older member or an older couple, "Mind if we sit with you today?" Sometimes just the presence of another adult in the pew is enough to encourage younger children to behave. And perhaps you can forge some surprising friendships that way too! <br /><br />One thought regarding the Cheerios- perhaps you could make it interactive with your 2 1/2-year-old. Say, "Listen for when Daddy reads about Moses today. When you hear it, squeeze my hand and you can have a Cheerio." You can modify this as needed- a specific hymn or song, the choir anthem, the Lord's Prayer, etc, and you can use it multiple times throughout the service. <br /><br />I also found Rebekah Thielen's post "When the Day of Rest Wearies the Soul" to be very encouraging. I've had many moments like the one she describes and many of the same doubts and misgivings. Perhaps you can find some encouragement in her article as well:<br /><br />http://www.sisterdaughtermotherwife.com/2016/06/when-day-of-rest-wearies-soul.html?m=1<br /><br />God be with you as you continue to raise your children to know Him!Ruth Meyerhttp://truthnotes.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9196316261585940971.post-82143750507868373682016-10-08T10:14:21.839-07:002016-10-08T10:14:21.839-07:00Mary, that sounds tough! Those ages, with no bigge...Mary, that sounds tough! Those ages, with no bigger kids to set the example, are a challenge. Do you think that someone in the congregation would help if you specifically asked? I.e., "I'm finding two kids a challenge on my own--would you be willing to sit with us and let the 2.5-year-old sit in your lap if I have to take the baby out?" or, "Would you be willing to sit with us and block the aisle?" Or whatever you're looking for? I know that if I was an older women in a congregation, I would be happy to help a young mom, but would probably feel intimidated about offering. I'd be afraid it might be taken as an implication that she wasn't doing the job well enough. <br /><br />Have you read any of the posts on discipline and/or church behavior from the blog Catholic All Year? I found them helpful for myself. Here's one (you'll have to copy/paste, since I'm not sure how to hyperlink in the comments): <br /><br />http://www.catholicallyear.com/2014/07/so-your-toddler-is-terrible-in-mass.htmlAnna Mussmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11631139113615066986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9196316261585940971.post-60042087759831991052016-10-07T17:24:39.592-07:002016-10-07T17:24:39.592-07:00Thanks for the suggestion, Elizabeth! It sounds li...Thanks for the suggestion, Elizabeth! It sounds like a great resource.Anna Mussmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11631139113615066986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9196316261585940971.post-54600305313853460362016-10-05T19:43:02.184-07:002016-10-05T19:43:02.184-07:00CPH has a book called "Parenting in the Pew&q...CPH has a book called "Parenting in the Pew", which has been out for a long time. It's what I used for ideas when I was a parent of my own two dear little noisemakers.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17219369568317026832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9196316261585940971.post-3176171383385741792016-10-05T13:24:35.756-07:002016-10-05T13:24:35.756-07:00This is a great post. Does anyone know of any oth...This is a great post. Does anyone know of any other good books or resources on how to handle children in church?Naomihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15942992893891978152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9196316261585940971.post-15571323491951429262016-10-04T19:33:17.074-07:002016-10-04T19:33:17.074-07:00I have a question for you and am hoping you can he...I have a question for you and am hoping you can help advise me. My husband is a pastor, which means I am left to mind our two girls (ages 2.5 and 16 months) in the pew on Sunday. This has been such a struggle for me and I do rely on cheerios and books in order to maintain some semblance of control. I dislike taking them to the nursery because I don't want them to think of church as a time to play with toys. Truth be told, I don't want them to even eat or rely on books to get through the service. I have received little help from members of the congregation, have no family or friends where we live, and feel alone and lost in dealing with this situation. What can I do? Thank you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14997394369660178491noreply@blogger.com